With Perfect Clarity

The Jade Forest, year 34 ADP

The little hill we trudged up was not particularly high or steep, but it did offer a marvellous view of the monastery grounds. I could easily see the various shrines and training grounds, as well as the guest lodgings and the marketplace. Surrounding it all was the lush greenery of the Jade Forest and the picture presented before me was so beautiful it almost stole my breath away.
“I used to spend a lot of my time here too.” Aroki’s words pulled me back to reality and I beamed a warm smile at him.
“Oh? You did? What was this place then? A place for meditation or contemplation?” I studied him curiously as I waited for his answer. The little hill with its tower was still technically within the premises of Tian Monastery, but still far enough away that it offered some measure of solitude; something I suspected Aroki had sought fairly often at the time.
“Both.”
“I can see why. It is truly beautiful up here. The view is lovely.” I knew my gaze was glued to him rather than on the actual view, but I could not find it in me to look away. I still marvelled at the fact that I could admire him openly now and that it was both appreciated and encouraged. It had only been three days and my head was still spinning from this sudden turn of events and Aroki’s revelation and declaration.

“The building behind us is for storage. But not many people used to come here and I was able to see a lot from up here.”
“Was this your secret hideaway place, like the place I showed you in Suramar?”
“I suppose, although not as hidden as your place in Suramar. Perhaps we can go back there one day?”
His words filled me with warmth and longing and I beamed a bright smile at him.
“I would like that. Truly.”
“Then I look forward to it.”
“I do not know when it will be, but I, too, will be looking forward to the day we go back.”
He was wearing his mask so I couldn’t see anything but his eyes, but the way they lit up immediately told me that he was smiling. I wished I could see it, all of it. The emotion in his eyes told me enough though, and I was easily ensnared in his gaze. I could feel a blush creeping up to stain my cheeks a dark lavender and the tips of my ears heated as well, but I still could not look away.
“I do not mind waiting, I am happy wherever I am so long as you are with me.” Aroki’s voice was very soft and he seemed as entranced by me as I was with him. My blush deepened even further at his words, but they also warmed my heart to its very core.
“I am always happy when you are by my side. It was true before and it is even more so now. I never wish to be parted from you.”
“So long as I breathe I will always be with you.”

Aroki finally took off his mask and he put his arms around me to pull me close into a warm embrace. I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes, just breathing him in.
“Then let that be forever. I truly wish we could pause time sometimes, stay in moments like these for an eternity.”
“I wish that could be the case, I really do.”
“We have now and we have some time still before we need to return. We will make it count.”
“I know we will.” Aroki agreed and reached up to pull my hood down, revealing my face and allowing my hair to spill in a tangled mess down my back and around my shoulders. He stared at me in silence for a while, his expression serious but his eyes warm and loving.
“They were always wrong about you Tinwëtar. You are beautiful.”
I knew I should take pleasure from his words, and a part of me did, but the old hurt and doubt ran much too deep to allow me to set it aside completely. It clawed its way to the surface now and was reflected in my own eyes and expression.
“I know what I look like, but…thank you for saying it.”
“No, you don’t…you do not see what I see because of their words. If only you could.”
I could hear the conviction and confidence in his words. He truly believed what he was saying and despite my doubts and fears it brought a smile to my face.
“The scars run deep, unfortunately…but…maybe I will see it one day. It still warms my heart that -you- find me beautiful though. Perhaps that is all that matters right now?”
“So long as you are happy.”
“I am. Very much so.”

“Tinwëtar?”
At the sound of my name I opened my eyes and found him smiling at me. It was warm and bright and the sight of it was so heartachingly beautiful that I was momentarily stunned into silence and became completely distracted.
“Hm? What?”
Instead of answering me, Aroki pulled me closer still and looked deeply into my eyes. I could feel my heart stumble and my breathing hitch as the tension between us flared to bright life. He was so close! I could see every shade and nuance of silver in his eyes. I could feel his heartbeat, strong and even, against my own slightly erratic one. The scent that was uniquely him swirled around me and it was such a heady and intoxicating thing that I felt slightly drunk on it. I could barely breathe and in an effort to break the tension my scrambled brain tried its best to form some sort of coherent speech.
“What is it?”
My voice came out a lot lower and huskier than I had intended, betraying my nerves in seconds. I was trembling slightly and my heart beat so fast I feared it might break through my chest at any moment. Aroki still did not answer. Instead he leaned in to brush his lips against mine in a loving and lingering kiss.

I think my heart must have stopped beating for a second. I know I stopped breathing for a brief moment at least before my brain and body finally caught up and allowed me to respond in kind. As first kisses went it was absolutely perfect and I knew that it was one of those moments that would stay with me forever. It started raining at some point but we neither noticed, nor cared, as we were too wrapped up in each other. Two years of struggle, anger, pain and heartbreak, but also joy, silliness and companionship, had culminated into this. It had culminated into this one perfect kiss and it would be one of those moments that I would be able to recall with perfect clarity each time, as every tiny detail was deeply imprinted into my memory. I never wanted it to end.